How to Deal With Divorce When You Still Love Him Deeply
Divorce is never easy—but when you still love him, it feels like your heart is caught in a storm. How do you move forward when emotions keep pulling you back?
Acknowledge Your Emotions
First things first—give yourself permission to feel. Divorce is a loss, and grief is a natural response. Cry, journal, talk to friends, or join a support group. Whatever you do, don't bottle it up. Your pain is valid, even if society tries to tell you to "just move on."
Letting Go Without Losing Yourself
Clinging to love that isn't reciprocated can take a toll on your mental and emotional health. It may help to consciously reframe your thoughts. Instead of saying, "I can’t stop loving him," try, "Holding on to this pain will only keep me stuck." It's not about erasing the past but freeing yourself from its grip.
Actions matter, too. Stop checking his social media—yes, it’s hard, but it’s necessary. If you share kids, set boundaries about what is and isn’t discussed to protect everyone emotionally. Little habits like these make a big difference over time.
Focus on Rediscovering You
Think about this: who are you outside this relationship? Divorce is an opportunity—even if painful—to rediscover what lights you up. Take a cooking class, dust off that novel idea, or simply spend quiet time with yourself. Moving forward doesn’t mean erasing your love for him; it means nurturing love for yourself.
What to Avoid
Why It Hurts
Better Alternative
Cyber-spying
Keeps emotional wounds open
Block or unfollow to focus on healing
Using Children as Messengers
Causes stress for them and you
Communicate directly or through a mediator
Sacrificing Self-Care
Delays your process of recovery
Prioritize hobbies, exercise, and rest
Lean on Support Systems
You don’t have to do this alone. Whether it’s a best friend, sibling, or therapist, having someone to talk to can ease the load. Support groups specifically for divorce can also connect you with people who truly understand what you’re going through—and who might even inspire hope in a brighter tomorrow.
Healing Takes Time
There’s no fast-forward button on grief, and that’s okay. Healing is a journey, not a sprint. Take one day at a time, and trust that time and intention can soften your heartache. Whether it’s through spiritual reflection, journaling, or therapy, find tools that work for you. You’re worth it.
Have you been through a similar experience or are navigating this now? Share your thoughts and ideas in the comments below—we’d love to hear how you’re moving forward.