Love can be difficult to define and detect; sometimes it takes just feeling it to know you're in love. According to a 1997 study, though, there may be ways of making yourself fall in love more quickly by asking and answering a series of questions.
Psychologer Arthur Aron conducted a study wherein strangers were paired together and asked 36 increasingly intimate questions before engaging in four minutes of uninterrupted eye contact. He discovered that couples tested were much closer, with two going on to marry six months later!
Question-and-answer exercises are incredibly popular among dating apps; it provides an easy and intimate way of getting to know someone and building intimacy, not to mention being fun! But is the exercise really the key to love, or will more people try this in real life and create loving relationships as a result?
Tracy K. Ross is an LCSW in New York City with over 25 years of experience working with couples at all stages of their relationships. She holds advanced certifications in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Gottman Method Therapy and EMDR therapy.
This article was first published on February 26th 2019. Updated March 14th 2020.
The 36 Questions that Lead to Love were devised by psychologist Arthur Aron for use in his 1997 research article published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. Their purpose was to increase intimacy through encouraging self-disclosure and helping participants recognize ways they were similar.
